There was a time in my life when a few days back I was searching for relief from the pangs of separation from the loved one, the pains that accompany any relationship ......I was at a loss....my enter life seemed to be upside down. I couldn't rest, I tried to run away from it, to overlook it, to avoid it, deliberately ignore its presence........but all these ruse turned futile and I submitted myself time and again....I even tried to divert myself from it by taking oblivion in books, seeking relief in music , but Linkin Park numbed me more than they were originally with their hard rock tunes.....in a nutshell I missed her, missed everything she did, her smile, her face, her talkative eyes.....her laugh , i could almost hear in my ears rejuvenating my soul leaving me yearn for her more and more with every passing moment......trying to think the things i will tell her the next time I will meet her,trying to memorize by heart what she said at all those precious moments -sacred golden moments - when she graced my soul with her presence,playing with my soul, snatching my peace, my control over my soul......I looked in all paths,searched in all directions but still I couldn't make myself believe that I will see her in a few days ....... but my heart was no longer in a working condition as it was previously when I hadn't fallen for her....It vehemently refused to listen to any gyaans, my mind was simply drained off pragmatic ideas,I kept visualizing her in front of me,her long curls mystifying me,those artistic eyelashes hypnotising me,turning me on and finally leavng me CRAZZZZZYYYYYYY.....I kept asking myself like a new born baby who refuses to listen to reason, " why wasn't she with me, why was I so far away from her, why was this immovable distance thwarting us to unite,to be one??why,why why??????

I was searching frantically for her, for peace, for nirvana......It was just horrifying to think that I was the one whose soul is being tormented by such ideas, by these ceaseless pangs, when perhaps she was oblivious to my absence, she perhaps was not feeling it as much as I did, perhaps she was not as restless as I am,days went by and just a brief meeting for a negligible time once a week was what I had to live on the rest of the week.....I was helpless, I loved her and I missed her like a drowning man underwater misses oxygen...........

As it happened i chanced to hear this song sung by Subha Mudgal, at precisely the same time when my life was somewhere dangling between paradise and hell. This song describes the restless condition of Krishna's mind beore he left for gokula,before he left his fiancee Radha. I could readilly match his condition with mine, and honestly speaking it felt quite good to find that someone else has also felt such dreadul pains of separation like me, I wasn't the only helpless victim of love...........

Even now also when I am gripped by such thoughts of desertion, I seek refuge in this song, and my mind is as if hoisted to some higher pedastal of spiritualism where distances doesn't matter in love , where far becomes near........where the holy communion of the two souls becomes possible even when they are miles apart..................................

Subaha subaha ka khyaal aaj-

Wapas gokule chale mathura raj,
Mathura nagarpati kahe tum gokule jao??
Manahar wesh choro Nandaraj
Sar se utarke sundar taj,
Raj dand chor bhumi par waj-
Fir kahe baasuri bajao?
Mathura nagarpati kahe tum Gokul'e jao??
Mathura nagar pati kahe tum Gokul'e jao???

Kaunsa anokha geet gaahe preetkula?
Raajpaath jaise aaj bhai dhula?
Kaun sa anokha geet gaahe preetkula
Birahana lagi fir hridaya akuula!
Raaj kaj man na laga---
Mathura nagar pati kahe tum Gokule jao?
Mathura nagar pati kahe tum Gokule jao?


Puranari saari vyakul nayana.....
Kusuma sajja lage kantak shayana--
Puranari saari vyakul nayana.....
Raat bhar madhav jagata bechaina--
Kaahe adhi raat sarathi bulao?
Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum Gokul'e jao?
Mathura nagarpati kaahe tum Gokule jao?



Dheere dheere pohuchhat Jamunake teer'e.....
Sunasana panghata , mridula samira---
Dheere dheere pohuchat Jamunake teer'e
Khanakhana madhav biraha madira
Usse kahe bhul na pauu???
Mathura nagar pati kahe tum Gokul'e jao?

Mathura nagar pati kahe tum Gokul'e jao?



Tumhari priya aab puri gharwali--
Doodh nawan gheeyu din bhar khaali....
Tumhari raadha aab puri gharwaali,
Doodh nawan gheeyu din bhar khaali...

Birahake aansu kabke poch daali
Fir kaahe dard jagao?
Mathura nagar pati kaahe tum Gokul'e jao?

Mathura nagar pati kaahe tum Gokul'e jao?

THIS IS A SONG WRITTEN BY ME FOR MY BAND THE PLEKTRUMZZ



Where were you?
When I was broken?
My heart torn into fragments ,
And i needed a shoulder to cry....
And your lips to taste life once more........


Do you remember,
The days we were together
Those golden moments ,
When you were near me,
I was contented-
But deep inside you craved for more,
And we ended in different shores.........

You will never know -
How much you have hurt me,
How much my soul aches,
To be with you again,
Now as the clock chimes,
I just can't believe,
I've lost my love, my life
In the ashes of time..............

Rik Roy

The Kite Runner

I am still in a trance after finishing this awesome book by Khaled Hosseini..........The very honesty with which the narrator depicts his sins is just enthralling .....the story is about two boys of afghanistan....one belonging to the local bourgeois while the other belonging to the socially ostracized hazaras.although one is just a servant of the other still a subtle feeling of friendship develops between them.But although the hazara Hasan is extremely loyal to the narrator Amir,yet their friendship was always tormented by the complexities of Amir's character.......and finally they are compelled to separate from each other by an irony of fate, and afghanistan enters a chaotic age under the Roussies(Russians) and subsequently under the infamous Taliban rule . Amir and his dad has to flee to America and about two decades later Amir returns to afghanistan to atone for the almost unpardonable sins commited by his spineless past self. The later half of the stories revolves around his struggle for redemption.

A unique story , written with a poignant style, will attract the reader's attention in its sincerity and (un)flamboyant nature........at the end the reader is so awed by the down to earth realism story that he might as well believe it to be a true story! I suggest every bookworm to read this awesome novel...........I an bet a million bucks that you won't regret !!!!

(I m so impressed by Hosseini's Dickensian fashion of writing that I have already bought his second novel A Thousand Splendid Suns)

slumdog millionaire

This film by danny boyle won the oscar this year...bt honestly speakin wen i wached it i cudnt bt sigh on the fact thad warner bros. pictures are now makin films similar to the bhojpuri industries.....although the background music was super....yet i wud hv bin happier if om shanti om had recieved the oscar instead of slumdog millionaire.....the direction z gud,,,but storyline jus stinks.....a lot of creative liberty hs bin taken..n exploite even.....first half of the film z although enthrallin the second part bcums borin, n a bit lyk mahesh bhat films.....the uniqueness of the plot although captivates u yet the very abstractness of the plot z depressin.....bsydz there z a scene where in taj mahal the boy z beaten up by an indian police man...n the boy tells d foreign tourists dat "dis z d real india"...........i dnt knw hw respected actors lyk anil kapoor(who hs a minimum role)n irrfan khan(who hs med merely a guest appearance)cud stand such humiliation n belittlin of their motherland........i admit there z poverty in oindia...bt jus marketin our poverty in the oscars wil jus continu if not d indians protest against it.......and one thng z dat...ar rahman had created much betr soulful muzik before...bt the global film industry recognized his talents only wen he z under a hollywood banner......this merely shws the depressin factionalistic judgement controlled by different lobbies within the oscar jury panel.....most of the people who hv wachd rang de basanti wl agree it shud hv got the oscars hd the indian politicians(who hvent a single trace of knowledge abt films)not intervened.........i request to the indian people...especially doze who r in big establishments in the film industry to oversee the selection procedure of the indian films b4 the oscars......den only the vast talent of the indian directors wil receive a global recognition.......indian film industry wil den only b hoisted on a higher pedastal......where foreign filmmakers wil never again even dream of exploitin inda's poverty to get oscars...!!